Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

I’m a rabid reader. I have “book baskets” both up and down stairs, chock full of hard and soft covers, some half read, some gathering dust, awaiting the crack of the fresh spine. I love books. And magazines and tabloids (exclusively bath tub reading…I read the dirtiest stuff while cleaning up). I do, however, steer clear of glamour magazines, "Cosmo" and the like. Instead of boning up on “Seven Positions to Drive Him Wild, Wild, Wild!!!” one should just do. Jump on and improvise. There’s no new cure for cellulite. I don't care how Ashley Simpson got bikini ready (bet Photoshop played a part).

An interesting link off Yahoo begins a sojourn through the Amazon.com forest. As Men’s Health Magazine editor David Zinczenko breaks downs the “The 20 Worst Foods in America”, I see he’s also authored books about men and sex. Food, men, sex...the trinity. Zinczenko promises, "A funny and fascinating guide for women into the inner workings of the male mind." I love men, honest I do, but he gets 208 pages from that? Maybe double-spaced, wide margins.

The “Dummies” and “Idiot” guidebooks are simple and effective tomes. Wonder how far is too far; “Adoption for Dummies” would give me pause. That title I made up. This one I didn’t, “The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition” (THIRD edition??!!). Some things one figures out as one goes, asking questions along the way, perhaps aided by a blue movie and live partner.

Although “love” in the title is a bit pushy, "Dating Rocks!: The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make for Love is intriguing in a way. Women flock to relationship books authored my men, seeking the “male perspective”. The men in my life, however, tell me to simply stop with the “figure them out” refrain, because they themselves can't.

I’m doing and I'm saying, the good, the bad, the silly and all the sex and emotion and hands shaking and casual flings and rejection and judgment and saucy talk and NC-17 chat and butterflies and vulnerability and desire to be held and the want to be kissed soft sometimes. I need to put the bits and pieces and handwritten notes and plethora of Word docs and really raw stuff together. No advice. Just me. Be the writer others believe me to be.

You'll all get a signed copy.


Don said...

"The Complete User's Guide for Women"

Uh uh. Users are bad enough, they don't need guides and instructions!

Don said...

Quiet around here. Well, *I'd* read your book. Maybe we could take turns turning the pages.

Jodie Kash said...

I only read in bed. Or the bathtub.

Amy Dencklau said...

Hey, I had a blog with the same title. I love that song by the Beatles! It's nice to be on the same wavelength as someone else!

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