I’m surrounded by relationship talk of late. My own, others, men, women, married, single. Somewhere in between. One topic comes up again and again; monogamy and/or the lack of it. The desire to dine out (wink wink). It started with an article on The Huffington Post and my introduction to polyamory (a word, btw, not found in spell check).
Main Entry: polyamory
Part of Speech: n
Definition: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships
It’s not merely sleeping around. It’s not even cheating. The concept of polyamory is shared and known physical and emotional connection with others outside a primary relationship. Doable and sounding suspiciously like the definition of “Dating after 30”. Or 40. I’m polyamorous. The buffet is stocked, and I like to eat and try new flavors. Don’t confuse the lifestyle with casual sex. The physical is easy and it takes surprisingly little effort to fall back on the couch. Adding an emotional element may be more satisfying in the long run, so behave. Try to. Work in progress.
But I’m single and polyamorous; I’m not 100% certain I’d engage if-and-when I committed to one someone seriously.
Marriage, like any other kind of relationship – friends, work, religious – requires work and faith. But people freelance, people are agnostic. Fidelity may be fully possible, but I know of few to no relationships where one or either partner has not strayed. Flirting as a married, fine. Putting you mouth anywhere on someone other than your spouse, probably cheating. With both partners on board, polyamory sounds a more truthful way to go.
Or maybe I’m just greedy and want all the happy endings.