Saturday, July 26, 2008

Can Your Pussy Do the Dog?

I think Sadie is sick. This morning, after an hour of sad meowing at my bedroom screen window to wake up already, I found unpleasant evidence on the patio, wet smears the color of that odd brown crayon in the 64-Ct. pack that wasn’t good for coloring anything but saddles.

Now she’s curled on the steamer trunk I use as coffee table and writing pod, Pavlovian purr (can cats do Pavlov, or it that merely a dog thing?) whenever my hand brushes her warm ear. Is that how you tell cats are feverish? Ears warm or noses cold? The indoor cat woke one morning last month spewing from both ends before a trip to the emergency vet ended in a diagnosis of tummy trouble and a $350 bill. You can’t ask where it hurts, or if a Corn Nut or Flintstones vitamin was found on the floor and eaten in interest.

My stomach is in knots when a pet is sick. Any animal, really, given I’m Mistress Doolittle; injured strays (ear nearly torn off), squirrels (broken leg) and birds (victim of something more ferocious or a really clean plate glass window) beat a constant path to my door. I used to tease I’d end up the crazy cat lady, never married, old and alone, dressing my pack of feline babies in hats and dresses and throwing them tea parties. Then I moved to the ‘burbs and they started coming ‘round, fueling my sad self-fulfilling prophecy. “NO!”, I resisted, “I’m a desirable, young woman. I will have men, not a furry substitute for love. This will not become my destiny.”

Future be damned, when a life form appears seeking care or simple sustenance, there’s an instinct. I’d rather be that person.

Besides, how often do I don a pink sparkle collar and set out in search of attention, affection and scratching behind the ears. Someone to feed me. Perhaps I should try a more canine approach, offer a simple crotch sniff hello.

8 comments:

O' Tim said...

Funny stuff, if a tad heavy on the metaphor ;)

Don said...

So all those women in pink sparkle collars just want, you know. Damn.

JodieKash said...

Surprisingly, "sniffing a crotch", not a metaphor.

Yes, Don. They want something to eat and a ride home.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Cat's can't take Pepto Bismal and get relief?

Crotch sniffing is overrated.

JodieKash said...

Can they Pepto? My Vet provided food sprinkles that my cat actually took, even licked off kibble, that helps the occasional rumbler.

Joe the Troll said...

So is Sadie okay? Billie had surgery last week to get rid of her mommy parts. She's doing better, although she really doesn't seem to care for the amoxycillin.

JodieKash said...

Sadie is rocking ;) I think it was just a tummy rumble/bad mouse taken to extreme. She, literally and figuratively, is a pussy.

Amy Dencklau said...

I'm glad to hear your follow-up on Sadie. We had Myles for two days when he got diagnosed with Parvo and had to be hospitalized for five days and I was a wreck and I never thought I'd be that attached to something, especially after only two days. But they are part of your family and he's healthy now too. I do admit, whenever he looks a little ill, I freak out and call the vet :) You're a good mama!

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