Thursday, August 14, 2008

No sugar tonight in my coffee

“I’ll have a grande iced coffee, sweetened with two pumps caramel, one pump Chai, room for cream.”

That’s not coffee, that’s desert. A sugary, milky desert, crème brulee in liquid form. It’s no wonder Americans are fat and getting fatter. The amount of empty calories consumed in a quick Starbucks, Caribou or local mud house run are astronomical.

And when it comes to Joe, I'm a superfreak.

If studied in a chemical lab, science may determine I'm composed of approximately 10% coffee, the rest bone and muscle and fat. I love coffee. A hot and steamy mug to burn off a morning hangover, foamy latte with a whisper of nutmeg or the sweaty grip of an iced coffee in summer. But I want coffee, no macchiato-with-whip-cherry-on-top. Toppings on coffee? Toppings piled so high they require a specially engineered dome lid? The latte is my “fancy” and always with soy milk. Often it’s a meal, grabbed and consumed while running errands of after the gym, a late morning belly filler and breakfast replacement. Iced coffee I splash with cream, turning it a light mocha color, sort of the brown to toffee Beyonce sports via airbrushing in those controversial new L’Oreal ads.

Sometimes it’s best to leave things be.


/brandon\ said...

sometimes it IS best to leave things be.

and sometimes it is best to fuck with the machine.

JodieKash said...

fuck with the machine

I would so do my usual, snarky "dirty" comment to that...but boy howdy, that would just be pornographic and too true to single life.

Miz UV said...

I like cream in hot coffee, that's it. But I will cop to enjoying icy mocha frapps with whipped cream once in a while -- nom! (Yes, I get the "lite" and then add whipped cream, teehee.)

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