Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Body Language

Today is National Love Your Body Day (but banks are open and you must pay parking meters). I’d not heard of this annual event but Google says it’s a day promoted by the National Organization of Women (NOW) to call attention to harmful images of women in the media and encourage ladies to celebrate their bodies.

Besides the odd glance when "Nylon" or "Rolling Stone" isn't available at the hairdresser, I gave up fashion rags ages ago (although I admit I like the sex tips and techniques served up in “Cosmo”; last trip for lowlights I got the down low about the proper way to be banged against a wall). The airbrushed and PhotoShop images in magazines aren’t realistic; a trip to the mall or any outdoor festival will confirm that. In truth, it's the empirically-no-denying-beautiful ones that are the oddballs.

Beauty and sex appeal is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. I’m drawn to men with a swagger only I can define. I know from the voice if there’ll be lust and tequila. As for women, I don’t like implants, especially the larger than life, cannonball variety; they just don’t look like any fun. I prefer porcelain white skin to overly tan. Freckles playing across nose, cheeks and shoulders are hot, playful. Luckily, or perhaps more telling, the skin stretched over my bones is translucent and you could connect the dots and find constellations on my dermas. Go figure, what I find beautiful in other woman is exactly what I have.

NOW has posted a page of “offensive” ads, deemed negative portrayals of women in advertising, on their Web site. I’m not offended. I find some funny, some erotic and some merely stupid. Is there a similar backlash against the Polo underwear bulge or hairless and bare-chested men, nipples erect, selling fragrance? Do men feel inadequate; require ballet slipper or sock padding? Do men find moose knuckle demeaning?

I like to look at pretty people. I may try blending two shades of eye makeup seen in a MAC campaign, or drool over heels impossibly stiletto. But I don’t disregard the wondrousness that is me after looking at a flat image on a page.

Not to rain on the flesh parade, a healthy body is paramount. Eating right, taking regular exercise and the “everything in moderation” credo does wonders not only for health and longevity, but your head, happiness and a positive self-image.

To celebrate NLYB Day I'm going to the gym, then the bakery for a brownie after. Sounds just about perfect. True love. Absolutely perfect would add a man with flat abs and solid shoulders in my bed to love my body too.


Don said...

Those underwear adds do nothing to me. I don't know why anyone would mind. I see them as catering to women who buy for their men, and to gay men. For my underwear shopping needs, all I need is a quick walk down the store aisle.

Flat abs are difficult. One must change one's diet. I do a lot of crunches and it's clear that good lookin' and good livin' are mutual exclusives. I mean per ultima. There's a nice, indeed wonderful, middle ground where we all can live happily. Eat well, take care, and sweat, but don't sweat details.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

People in ads are not real. They are robots from the planet Xionide20076.


Miz UV said...

I'm delegating to Adrian Grenier. I think that's legit.

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