I have every hope 2009 will be a good year. I believe and feel it. Optimism empowers. I’m excited the worlds view of us may change, that new leadership may begin to correct past failures, build a stronger foundation and protect that which inspires us. Forge paths unheard of, unseen and create more self- awareness and motivation. Find a clearer view of goals, however far in the distance, and fight fear disguised as something else. Get up off our fat asses and take care of our bodies, feed the soul. Simply take care of each other. Simply figure out how to love.
Ironic, after months of building core strength, my back erupted in a crescendo of spasms last night. I pulled it, damaged it again sitting on the floor, wrapping Christmas presents the night before. I had only one Aleve tablet rattling in a rarely used bottle, which is funny since they usually go two-by-two. I sobbed from the pain and vodka-enhanced sadness. I have so much work still to do.
I've been labeled “selfish and self-centered” by a man who also said he loves me a little. And via e-mail, which just makes cruelty easier to deliver. I never thought of myself as either; perhaps I'm both. Something tells me to protect and preserve at all costs. When did I get so scared? How do I not be? Maybe feeling, knowing that hands might catch you as you fall is a good place to start.
“Estranged” is a funny word.
1. to turn away in feeling or affection; make unfriendly or hostile; alienate the affections of
2. to remove to or keep at a distance
3. to divert from the original use or possessor
I have every hope 2009 will be a good year. I believe and feel it.