Sunday, December 28, 2008

You say you want a resolution

I’m not one for resolutions. I make goals all the months of the year. Before the ball drops next week, however, I'm revisiting certain behaviors.

I must limit dirty birds. It will pain me to imbibe of my salty, briny friend only periodically, but weight loss has hit a plateau (good news, I’ve maintained my "high" weight over the holidays, and fuck if three pounds of that isn't currently menstrual cycle – MC – load). I also tend to get overly sentimental, cheeky…well, horny when the gears are Grey Goose slippery. And the internet is bad fun when you’re slippery, as some e-mail and chat will attest.

Red wine is good for you, yes?

I will embrace more adventure in ’09. Leave my phone number on the credit slip for the waiter I’ve flirted with over breakfast, the twenty-something with the tattoos, two of five he’s shown me so far…wait, check. Fulfilled that resolution yesterday morning. Rub a Buddha belly or some God beads that a jingle results. Although I recently pledged to pursue older gents, what a tonic to recent tumultuous times.

I will travel farther than Denver in '09. Anyone for Bermuda? I’m not kidding. See resolution above, the one about more adventure.

I will get off my comfortable safe ass in ’09. When the spirits shine on you, bring old friends into your current world that own, say, a publishing company, who offer to met and, perhaps, talk about optioning your blog into a book or, maybe, a screenplay listen to them.

I’ll love me even more in ’09. Despite best efforts, I’m still a fat girl. I’m in my 40’s, not my 20’s. Sometime sport a pimple or ruddy patch. Yet in any room, at any time (red-faced and panting at the gym, in line at the grocer, out on the town and surrounded by perky and tight) I’m attractive, sexy and the woman you want to know because I believe I am.

I’ll be a DOUBLE-U-O-M-A-N, say it again, in ’09. The mysterious distance between a man and woman* doesn’t have to be argumentative and trying. I’m strong-willed, but caring and loving. I have walls, but am worth the climb.

I'll be more happy than sad in '09. Hells yeah.

*I stole that from Bono, credit where due


Paula Light said...

Nice! I always make resolutions (yearly, monthly, weekly, hourly, whatev), and I've decided the cupcakes have to go. I'm bored with them, and they're way way unhealthy. I'm also going to stop deluding myself about the bowls of pasta being "oh, around 300 calories." Bwah! I've gained five pounds back this year, and there's no mystery why. And it's not "muscle from working out," LOLZ.

I'd definitely buy and read _Hello, I'm Jodie Kash_, but from what I understand, it's pretty unusual to make enough $$$$$ from a book to replace the paycheck, unfortunately. So, don't dump the job too quickly!!

Grapes 2.0 said...

Good luck on the older gents front, if they're not all out pursuing 19-year-olds. It's that "lives of quiet desperation" thing.

Crys said...

this was the best pre-resolution post i've read yet. i like everything you've said.

i come to Colorado here and there, Denver specifically. wanna meet for a drink, chica?

Crys said...

oh and i rubbed my buddha for you...

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I want your New Years resolution to be getting caught naked with a fireman in the firehouse.

It also makes national news!


Jodie Kash said...

@Paula – You won’t have to BUY it. You get a copy free.

@Grapes – Talk about buzz kill. I’m entrusted with many men’s stories of “lives of quiet desperation." Jesus, I find it sad.

@Crys – What gate at DIA? Hells to the yeah.

@Blue – That’s less a resolution, more a daily goal I have yet to fulfill.

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