Friday, January 23, 2009

What You Need

Having a bit of a Michael Hutchence fixation of late. INXS plays constantly in the car and I spent hours last night watching videos and old interviews on Youtube.

He’s the sexiest man dead.

My ex-sister-in-law once told me Prince heralded the beginning of all things sexual for her. His music and erotic persona peaked just around the time she discovered that sliding-down-the-rope-straddling-a-balance-beam in gym class special tickle. Michael Hutchence was mine. Beware your possible spit take reaction, but I matured sexually very late. I had pretty boy vapors (Shawn Cassidy was my favorite), but teen idols then were bred to look like girls, soft and pretty. You wanted to hold a teen idols hand, not smell his balls. I was both fascinated and somewhat repulsed by Leif Garrett and the package that burst at the seams of pink satin pants in a poster of him I’d pulled from Tiger Beat. I had no use for or frame of reference about what lied beneath.

That was until circa 1982, MTV and “The One Thing." Soft and slippery, lean and sinewy, Michael Hutchence exuded sex to me. I wanted to hold his hand and everything else. He had a mop of angelic curls and a tiny lisp. He was barely 5’10 with a 28-inch waist at best and feminine featured. He loved women, you could see it, sense it, I bet smell it. He gave me a funny feeling in my tummy. Still does.

I saw INXS play live only once, at Red Rocks (an outdoor amphitheater) in the pouring rain. The vintage beaded estate gloves I wore were mostly ruined that night (we dressed pretty in the day, boys in eyeliner, girls in lace and not much else). Had my ass (and damn near vulva) groped by a complete stranger.

One of the best times ever.


Crys said...

i love how you write.

having said that, Red Rocks is gaaaaaaaaargeous. i was there recently and couldn't believe the natural beauty.

never a big INXS fan. in fact i'm trying to think of the first dude who did it for me like you're talking here.

... still thinking

... still thinking


i got nuthin.

Crys said...

i like how Billy Idol snarled, i will say that. my ex was wayyyyy too into him though (every single fucking concert -- really? again? There's only so many times you can listen to Sweet Sixteen, correct me if I'm wrong.

Crys said...

a young Eddie Van Halen was pretty hot, but mostly for his smile. i like guys with a good smile. but yeah, still not so much...

Crys said...

James Hetfield. (even though he came way after i "discovered" my sexuality)

true story: i dream of him all the time and have for years. it's that animal magnetism and oh? the way he plays the guitar REAL LOW. not necessarily aesthetically optimum --- there are hotter dudes --- wait, maybe i like guys who growl/snarl.

p.s. oh i'm not stopping.

Crys said...

i kinda liked ted nugent. wow. still snarling. oh! oh! it's coming to me!

Crys said...

i'd have jumped on Stevie Ray Vaughan if given the chance back in the day. another non-attractive dude, but hi? with skillz.

am i annoying you now.

Crys said...

oh! ok. know what turned me on? The Chauffeur by Duran Duran. not Simon or anything, but the song. rawr. a kid could make out to that song, for real.

Crys said...

finally, i have to include Angus. i'm sorry, i know he looks like a freaked out little troll but when he puts on those school boy shorts and runs across the stage?


Jodie Kash said...

I lovelovelove it, Crys ;)

Oh hells yeah, "The Chauffer" still gets me moist. I was a John Taylor. Once told my Mom if I was reincarnated I'd like to come back as his leather pants.

Oh, and after Michael I found Paul Young. He had me wobbly for years. Those dark haired boys (most) with exotic accents….yum.

And of course, my affair with Bono is well documented.

Crys said...

Paul Young? I am embarrassed not to know him. You must tell me more. Post a picture. Tell me of your love story.

Bono is rad on many levels. He was hottest out there at your Red Rocks, all with his flag (rawr), but he's still kind of fucking hot all with his humanitarianism and big ass sunglasses. i kept hoping to run into him or Christy Moore in Dublin. guess what, all i could find were copious amounts of Guinness.

Oh John Taylor, yah. Everybody loved him but his hair was too girly for me. Simon, if anybody, could have maybe just a little bit scored. God we're so 80s.

At least we're not talking Brett Michaels from Poison. Jesus Crisis. That's retahhded.

Crys said...

and yeah, i love the dark haired ones. if they have a little silver, too, that's all right by me. but dark and brooding?

fucking hot.

Crys said...

We deserve each other!

And ought to party, hello.

Paula Light said...

Roger Moore, in The Saint. A looooong time ago!

Jodie Kash said...

@Paula - Thanks for playing! The boys won't share...

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