Monday, February 16, 2009

Cry baby cry, when you got to get it out

Sometimes you have to let a little steam heat escape.

Everything just caught up and punched me down hard and work, like most, is laying people off and it NEVER makes the news and I hate that's how they do it, all the while going to Washington asking for some of the stimulus, yet I really embrace the new initiatives and cash will help the "smarter planet" agenda if they keep the fucker in the U.S. and not offshore it, and have a feeling I may not make the year and actually had a GOD DAMN panic attack and couldn't breath and HATE that I feel like a sitting duck and that for A MINUTE it makes me doubt my talent and I should love myself enough to be bigger than the situation, especially when WORK makes you physically sick but FUCK there are so many good writers out there and I even asked for advice about freelancing, giving up the corp gig and, of course, the family, being shut out and DAMMIT would you call me with plans, PICK a movie, invite me OUT and could a nice guy maybe have a little crush on ME?

It's all universal, you know. Spewing my worry in a blog, scary as it is, feels natural. I feel less alone (even if five people read it). And the point is, we all have massive garbage to pick through each day and, geez, doesn't that make us all feel a little bit better, more human in our situation? And I feel more powerful up against it because I said it out loud...and yes, hope for kinds words back. I put up my hand to be looked at sometimes too.

Thanks for asking.


Pearl said...

I know how you feel. We've been asked to take four unpaid days at work between now and April, there are lay-offs coming, and frankly, the house needs new gutters.
As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I hear you.
Drinking beer and dancing like a possessed person has helped me. Maybe you could try it? :-)

Jodie Kash said...

Pearl! welcome to my blog ;)

Oh yes, I find the Grey Goose and the firemen (a gaggle hang out at my gym) help a good deal.

Lovely to know we share some pain, yes? Truth is gooooodddd.

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