A friend I met at the singles summit called recently. Told me the event had been mentioned in a NY Times article. THE NEW YORK FUCKING TIMES, the real news. Gist of the piece was how even in - especially in - troubled economic times, singles are flocking to paid events in groves, signing up for internet dating sites in record numbers. I get it, because isolation is a soul killer whether single, married or in between.
At lunch today, a cute girl friend (one who can wear frosty pink lip gloss and look amazing in it) asked how the firemen auction went. She was somewhat surprised to hear of my affinity for smoky men in yellow puffy pants; she works for the fire department, has a front-row center seat, the sieve to weed out potential assholes and the married. Sometimes us girls need a wingman, a side arm, a fully competent and wholly confident woman to allow us to preen all the while knowing a safety net awaits.
“Hook a sister up,” I said, then said again. I can find trouble all on my own, and have. Your pre-screening is priceless and, should he prove a dud, I pinky swear it won’t be held against you. I wouldn’t blame you if I end up biting down hard on a faux pearl.
My Friday night tonight, a lovely dinner at home for one. I’d have gladly made more for good company, the kind with the deep voice and big hands.
I don’t want to get married. There’s no clock, biological or other, ticking like a tell tale heart. But somehow, even though I never really had it and never really pursued it, I have a fever for the flavor of the comfort, that invisible thread between people, being special without dancing like a clown for attention, any attention.
And yes, crazy good, emotional sex that lasts for hours, from seduction to sweat, the act and the chemicals. The staying over. The feeling of warm next to you under the afghan, leg on exposed leg. Even I can't express how wonderful it would be to climb the stairs right now and find that waiting. It's not.
There’s no better grace than a hand reaching for yours on the walk from the car.
"I’m not afraid to die, I’m not afraid to live, and when I’m flat on my back I hope to feel like I did."