Friday, March 27, 2009

All the honeys makin' money throw your hands up at me

If you own a TV, and have it turned to the “on” position for any amount of time, you must have seen the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.

Warning: The following will stick in your head like bubblegum on dry hair:

Well I married my dream girl, I married my dream girl
But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We’re living in the basement at her Mom and Dad’s
No we can’t get a loan for a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we’d gone to free credit report dot com
I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard

Listen up all the single ladies, all the single ladies. The man whose heart you capture, whose soul you swim in, may rethink dreamy lifetime commitment if it turns out your bills aren’t paid. And he'll be happy. Thing is, the only big wad a real woman needs is of the pink wrinkly variety. The cash, I got my own, but I share. You'd think a man would be all over that.

Alas, all the women who are independent, some say that's not the case. Listened in to an hour of Oprah recently. I was off the O for a while, having grown weary of the cult, one where living your best life required cashmere socks, but I like the return of fat Oprah. And she’s ironing her hair. The show featured comic and now best-selling “Love Expert” Steve Harvey and 300 women.

Steve Harvey's book is flying off the shelves, and we've got him unleashed! Want to know what men really think? Steve's answering all your burning love questions!

Admittedly, I’ve been behaving a bit like Oliver Twist of late, running after the boys who make me flush and flutter, hoping for more, for something, from their bowls. I asked a few male friends if perhaps I needed to reel it in, does the playful activity make men uncomfortable? In other words, should I put on the petticoats and stop going commando?

One said I have, “an intentional shock value… but mostly you just have a saucy sense of humor.” The other simply said, “Nah.”

I want a man to take me home to bed and take me home to Mom, and that tandem isn't panning out. I don't have the girl game play down and it’s the girls who perhaps want or need some saving (and savings) that get the guy in the end.

According to Harvey, a man shows his love through the three P's - profess, provide, protect. He says, "A man has got to see where he fits into the providing and protecting role. If you've got everything, you can do everything…the guy is thinking, 'Where do I fit in here?”

If I could slow down and sip a coffee with one, maybe I’d find out. And I should let him pick up the check, huh?

4 comments:

Lisa said...

In my opinion, Steve Harvey isn't too far off. I think a big part of the male ego is taking care of a damsel in distress. If you're not in distress? Well, I don't know. I'm always in distress :)

dan said...

My sense of "guydom" is that most of us can be fairly serious jerks. Is the goal is to act in a way that attracts the most guys, regardless of the clarity and luminescence of their inner light - or do you want to be your own giggling hipswinging self and attract the guy who really wants just what you've really got?

I like sharing the burdens and the benefits of life. Being THE GUY is tiresome and reinforces rote behaviors I'd just as soon de-enforce. Most every good friend I've got among the womenfolk made the first move, and I've been grateful for it every time.

Don said...

Provide and protect are strong drives. Men marry the wrong women for the wrong reasons way too often because of it. But it's real and can't be dismissed. For myself, it would be a shallow sort of provide and protect that involved money. Money is easy to provide, and to take. But serious women can take seriously the questions: Who's gonna pick you up
When you fall Who's gonna hang it up When you call Who's gonna pay attention To your dreams Who's gonna plug their ears When you scream ...

Jodie Kash said...

@Lisa – I think Harvey is close to straight on. So much so I’d consider reading his book, but much like self help, diet tomes and “Who Moved My Cheese,” I find it’s really mostly stuff I already know.

@Dan – Many woman are serious jerks too, usually to men. Mostly to other women.

@Don – Not saying I wouldn’t welcome a bit of the provide and protect. Love having someone drive me home. So how do I get out of the drivers seat?

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