If you own a TV, and have it turned to the “on” position for any amount of time, you must have seen the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.
Warning: The following will stick in your head like bubblegum on dry hair:
Well I married my dream girl, I married my dream girl
But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We’re living in the basement at her Mom and Dad’s
No we can’t get a loan for a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we’d gone to free credit report dot com
I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard
Listen up all the single ladies, all the single ladies. The man whose heart you capture, whose soul you swim in, may rethink dreamy lifetime commitment if it turns out your bills aren’t paid. And he'll be happy. Thing is, the only big wad a real woman needs is of the pink wrinkly variety. The cash, I got my own, but I share. You'd think a man would be all over that.
Alas, all the women who are independent, some say that's not the case. Listened in to an hour of Oprah recently. I was off the O for a while, having grown weary of the cult, one where living your best life required cashmere socks, but I like the return of fat Oprah. And she’s ironing her hair. The show featured comic and now best-selling “Love Expert” Steve Harvey and 300 women.
Steve Harvey's book is flying off the shelves, and we've got him unleashed! Want to know what men really think? Steve's answering all your burning love questions!
Admittedly, I’ve been behaving a bit like Oliver Twist of late, running after the boys who make me flush and flutter, hoping for more, for something, from their bowls. I asked a few male friends if perhaps I needed to reel it in, does the playful activity make men uncomfortable? In other words, should I put on the petticoats and stop going commando?
One said I have, “an intentional shock value… but mostly you just have a saucy sense of humor.” The other simply said, “Nah.”
I want a man to take me home to bed and take me home to Mom, and that tandem isn't panning out. I don't have the girl game play down and it’s the girls who perhaps want or need some saving (and savings) that get the guy in the end.
According to Harvey, a man shows his love through the three P's - profess, provide, protect. He says, "A man has got to see where he fits into the providing and protecting role. If you've got everything, you can do everything…the guy is thinking, 'Where do I fit in here?”
If I could slow down and sip a coffee with one, maybe I’d find out. And I should let him pick up the check, huh?