This getting out of the house every morning, out with the 3D people, is good for a girl. I feel, normal and part of things.
Unfortunately, several days of a mostly coffee and stress diet have torn up the tum a bit. Odder yet, it took many moments to realize I'm in a COFFEE shop, which is also a HOT BEVERAGE shop and the peppermint tea is hopeful to help settle the urp.
I may be coming down with something. The down, I definitely got. Didn't realize until last night how absolutely and fully addicted I am to the Internet. Without, did all I could to busy myself. Lovely cold cocktail in a lovely hot bath. Dinner of sushi rice with butter and cheese (told you my eating habits of late leave much to be desired). Then the Jones. The need to connect. To communicate.
And fuck me if I didn't realize how deep that connection goes.
I want a friend like Dan, who regales me with lavish words to simply describe the color blue. Or Pearl, who may very well have the other half of this amulet I wear around my neck. Or Staci and shared tales of singular lifestyle and naked nerves. Or Jeff and a black-and-blue-flesh-wound sympathy contest. Catherine, her pies and glorious poetry. Or the new boy who's turning my head and curling toes for all the wrong reasons, but damn if he doesn't have the nicest teeth and similarly saucy appetite for casual fun. He'd like to come over tonight. I don't know his last name. I don't do that anymore, right? That's not the comfort I crave. Right?
But I don't want these people merely beaming out in liquid light. I want people like this here for arms around and long chats and disagreements and looking into eyes as we figure out needs and desires by saying them out loud to another. I want to touch and be touched in every sense. When did contact become so virtual, so out of reach?
Mmmm, that second sip of tea is helping.
We're due for more snow this weekend. Another wallop they say. If I could, and if you could, I'd invite you all over for soup (something lighter than stew and broth based) and crusty bread and bottles of wine and board games and real talk and real touch and real connection.
Besides the peppermint tea, it's all I really want right now.