Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Odd things happen in the mysterious 10-minute distance of the snooze alarm. This morning I was doggedly pursued by Dane Cook through a Mexican hotel, where instead of zipping around on a moped or Vespa I rode a mechanical cat. Yes, I rode my pussy all over town. Then I hung out with the cast of One Day At a Time.

Soon realized this all occurred in an hour and 12 minutes between snooze and awake. Good thing my schedule is somewhat bendy. I also had the old school “trying to find my way back home” dream earlier this week. I want to lie on a couch and have that one pulled apart. It’s chaotic and sad and makes me feel lost, unwanted. Don’t need a dream to convey that message.

Yesterday 29 people visited, maybe some stayed to read. No comments, just an e-mail from a man I'm not entirely sure is seeking something from me, and I don't mind I just don't understand it yet. I never was one to ask for comfort, let alone shout it through clear words. I ask now.

Today I’ll brush it away, work again at the coffee shop where there's music and lovely smells and the occasional smile or hello, showered and with my long red hair washed and smelling clean, and dressed in a cute new black lace long tunic/short dress that I'll wear over capri leggings with flats. Then lunch with a lovely woman who asked ME out to catch up and chat over a brilliant film I saw last week, alone in the dark, that her son had a hand in making, and I hope to come away more inspired than envious of dreams just beginning. Then probably back home to the needs of the J-O-B that’s boring me more and more, then 6:15 candlelight yoga. Haven't done yoga twice in one week, never been to this instructor, but feel the need the hug myself from the inside out. Then home, a hot bath and bed.

Too available. Too much information. Too much blurring of the line between emotional connection and daily existence.

Don’t know if I’ll keep doing this.


Paula Light said...

Poo. I hope you do, but that's just me being selfish cuz I enjoy reading you. Of course you should do what makes you feel best. I love the description of your outfit, BTW. Dammit, I was just in the garage scooping cat clumpies and tripped over the fucking car. Jesus. How do you trip over a CAR? It's not like I didn't see it. Now my foot is throbbing all over again.

Jodie Kash said...

If you like the description, you should see the outfit actualized. Cute I am; looking like $800 at least.

Oh, and I went with the Steve Madden leopard ballet flats and gigantic silver hoops.

Lisa said...

If you quit blogging, then what would Provo do? Die, that's what. :)

But really, we love you :)

Jodie Kash said...

Oh yes, the Utahians! My peeps. For those not in know, I have crazy high hits from Provo and BYU, both "home" to my homey Lisa. And it cracks us up but good.

Don said...

You and some others inspire me to want to write for real, not the blog blathering but deeper, more poetic, more passionate and energetic. Alas, I am discovering that my online life really is ruining my real life, and am beginning to look to leave it behind. As with any mild addiction, I have few illusions of success and endless potential to backslide.

All of which means, wherever you go I'm on your side.

Jodie Kash said...

@Don - Wherever I go, I'll leave a strawberry body butter scented trail behind me ;)

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