Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Foibles and frolic

Rough night, rough few days.

I actually cried myself to sleep last night. Dumb. Always thought that was an overly feminine tool found in women's erotica or chick movies. Didn't even take time to wash my face or change out of my clothes from the gym - socks included, and I never sleep in socks. Just exhausted physically and emotionally. Spiritually maybe. Work, lust, relationships. The faults in me. There's something that needs a scrubbing or a squeeze to hold in the good and let out the bad. I'll get on that, add an extra yoga class or two.

When I’m disappointed, which isn’t often, it sprouts from disingenuous situations or scenarios; when another believes me not open to or worthy of their truth. Because sometimes the sky clears of morning rain and the sun comes out and plans change. Simple as that.

My favorite word is "believe." Perfectly and succinctly hugged in the center of a word that demands a trusting heart is "lie." I find it funny and ironic and pure and humanizing. You get that, you get me. Simple as that.

But now, back to work.

Soon I’ll have time to pull my chin up from the keyboard and sniff out more wonderful adventures. Going to look behind every corner.

I just want to go out and play.


FrankandMary said...

The agony of self-reproach is so unnecessary, well, for most people, for the those it is nec for, they think they are just FINE. But most of us do it.....the flaws/faults in us....if we did that or didn't do this. I'm guilty of it & trying very hard to shed it, been mostly successful lately. Good luck to you. ~Mary

Jodie Kash said...

A becoming ever dearer friend says it’s, “the curse of emotionally intelligent people that they know what they're experiencing.” I like that I can do it. Now.

Spilling, I’d made a new friend and felt intuitively he wasn't being all together straight with me, not that our kind of panting "friendship" was built on truth. I want that “palship”, but the two haven’t melded. Wow, I still can’t read men ;)

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