Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What's your name, little girl?

Discovered a new pet peeve when women considerably (and obviously) older than myself refer to me as “Ma’am.”

Do the math, I’m a Miss. Reminds me of the absolutely fabulous Patsy Stone who when referred to as “Madam" in the British comedy bitingly adds “-moiselle! Mademoiselle!!”

The men always throw me a Miss. But the cooter-riding-high-unflattering-panted clerk who chased me through Macy’s yesterday afternoon chose “Ma’am” to get my attention. Retail rule #1, flatter your customer (same applies to liquor store clerks and randy waiters looking to score; ask for ID.)

I call deserving ladies “doll” and men “baby” (sometimes to the wrath of insecure wives and sweat of guilty husbands). Men call out each other as “brother,” urban hip for the white guys. Get too eubonic, however, and it becomes street-lite and silly. More troubling is the “sister” tag between women. Comes out sounding ultra feminist, almost penis hating, something I hold great affection and grip for.

For a time a time ago, there was a man, a flirty friend and nothing more, who referred to me as “kitten.” I liked it. Now a girlfriend from decades past has tagged me that. I still like it. Been called “gumdrop” after a body part that sometimes extrudes in a similar size and form.

Just don’t call me Ma’am. It’s Jodie. Miss Kash if you’re nasty.

3 comments:

Lisa said...

Amen. Boo to the ma'ams.

Tim said...

Lighten up! In the south little girls are called Ma'am.

Jodie Kash said...

I'm far west of south, baby. And come to think, you men get "Sir" or "Mister," terms of strength and power. No "Boy".

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