Monday, August 3, 2009

Too Much Monkey Business

I keep up with the urban hip, the language of the street, G. Recently came across a truly bad, unfunny-although-intended article online about the proper etiquette for casual relationships. In it, discovered a new word:

–noun (see also uhmfriend, um-friend)
A person with whom you are in a physical, but not necessarily romantic, relationship
usage: “Hi, Mom. This is Steve my…umfriend."

Second definition is a bit more base in nature - “Noun used to describe someone who you are banging, in the stage before he/she is your legitimate boy/girlfriend.” Obviously written by a man because women rarely to never use the word “banging.” Then again, most of the euphemisms for intercourse are silly sounding:

throw some bologna
the beast with two backs
(sounds like what a guy who hangs out at the Renaissance Festival would call it if any guy who hangs out a Renaissance Festival ever actually had sex)

“Hanky panky” is retro and fun, “bumping uglies” makes me giggle. How about some fresh, ambiguous terms:

Tom Foolery (all capped, like a character from a Dickens novel)
checking the oil
frosting the cake

Won’t be long before Miriam Webster picks this up. New words for 2009 include “frenemy” and “sock puppet.” Hmmm, sock puppet...

Bet I could work that in.


jorg wobblington lopez said...

How about one eyed cave explorations.

A bit of a mouth full, I guess...

Jodie Kash said...

Yes, imaginative. How about euphemisms for variations on the theme, such as “land snorkeling” or “playing-three-blind-mice-on-the-recorder?”

jorg wobblington lopez said...

Those are funny. And just a little scary.

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