Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Four letter word

So what. I said it.

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of, is all you need. That it squeaked out not in a quiet moment, a soft gaze over soft jazz or atop a mountain but in the midst of a rollicking and pants off wild ride took nothing from the intent. It surprised me, sure. If it had a sound effect it would be the swwwoooopp of pulling a needle quickly away from a vinyl record. After a fitful night of non-sleep caused by a knot of odd anxiety rolling at the base of my spine like a chimed Chinese massage ball, I slipped quietly out of bed the next morning. A true ruse of running out for eggs and the Sunday paper (we needed both) and chance to escape.

Briefly.

Of course I came back and as is my mantra of truth and not assuming (you and me and ass make three) I spoke of it. Yes he heard and no wasn’t surprised. Yes I said and yes meant, in that moment and others. No wonder it creates tingly balls of nerve endings. One word with no less than 28 usage examples noted in websters.com. It’s a noun, a verb and an idiom, my favorite being:

–verb (used with object)
18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

Benefit greatly from.

It means everything and nothing and something. Gosh I love words. See, I did it again, just there.

My best girl from high school closes every phone call and every voicemail with “I love you, Kitten.” And it feels fine, good and warm in fact. I close cards and letters with it, sometimes include a “much” before it to emphasis and second that emotion.

I love soy milk lattes.

I love how Tiffany blue the sky gets in Colorado the day after a snowstorm.

As does Eddie Rabbit, I love a rainy night.

And I love how my guy makes chocolate chip pancakes on lazy Sunday mornings and laughs at cartoons and let’s me choose the wine or movie (then says, “That’s what I wanted too”) and calls to say hello and leads his own life and still opens the car door for me even when he’s driving mine and makes me feel connected to something besides myself and that he didn’t feel the need to parrot it back but simply said I was his girl too, even though I beat him at 80’s music trivia.

What’s not to love?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're as nuts as I am. Hope this wasn't my fault. <3

Lisa said...

:)

Chantel said...

I love the spiderweb of connected blogs that takes you on a crazy spiral of a wonky journey....and you discover something splendid.

Don said...

Love it. The splendidness. That second paragraph full of just the right internal images.

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